It’s okay to be sad sometimes. It’s okay to feel the weight of things. It’s okay to cry and ask for time alone. It’s okay to feel hurt and betrayed and wounded. It is.
It may not feel good, or you may feel foolish about your weighty emotions, but when they arise it is important you acknowledge their presence. These moments of despair and loss and sadness reveal what is important to you. What makes you tick. Who you are, where you have come from and what you have learned.
Whether this bout of sadness is grounded in a break-up, an illness, a death, a job loss, a bankruptcy or a mistake you have made, the feelings are valid. Even if you cannot place the reason for your sadness, it still needs to be addressed. Nursed. Tended to. Loved and cared for with kindness and patience. When you find yourself in these moments, you need allow the feelings to be, address them, and then dig into your bag of tricks and exercise the things that help you heal and reset.
We all have them: the cure-alls. Not the glass of wine, cigar, romp in the sheets or fist fight you might be yearning for – but the real medicine.
The moment alone. The walk in the park. The deep breaths. The nap. The tall glass of water. The talk with a friend or words in your journal. The tears on your pillow or tea in your cup. The coins tossed in the homeless person’s hat or hand on the weeping woman’s back. The gratitude and forgiveness. The prayer or plea or pause for reflection. The gentleness with yourself. This is the real medicine. The real cure.
When you take a moment to still your mind and ask yourself what you really need, the answer presents itself. The answer always lies within. We forget this sometimes. And sometimes we see the answer and because we don’t like it, we push it aside. We need to take the time to address what ails us and to sit with it. To understand it. To heal it and forgive what needs forgiving. To love it and feel gratitude for all that we have and for the opportunity to change and grow.
The important thing is that we take these moments as a lesson. A lesson in learning more about who we are and how to love ourselves more kindly, with the gentleness and care that we deserve.
P.S. How do you care for yourself in times of sadness?